Text Fights: 5 Reasons Why They Suck.

Texts start off fine: “Hi babe! I just woke up. Love you!”

You start exchanging chitchats for a bit, and then for whatever reason, something someone says triggers the fight.. “You went WHERE last night??”

…and then it begins.

One good thing about text fights is that you can stop and think about what you are about to say to the other person without having the pressure of them impatiently waiting for you to answer back. But, even though I sometimes engage myself into one, I do understand how they’re wrong and not helpful for the fight:

1. It’s more hurtful than intended. There are just some people who are bad in putting their words together on paper (or text). When we email, text or write to someone, we tend to exaggerate things – as compared when we were talking in person wherein we try to be nice as we watch the other person’s reaction. But since in texting we don’t see them, we might not realize how much our statement hurt them.

2. Too much hassle. Since we bring our phone with us ALL the time, text fights can be a real pain in the ass. I remember having to work and get all distracted because I keep glancing at my phone for new messages. That’s why I seriously support companies who forbid their cellphones at work. Replying during a text fight just consumes 5 minutes of your productivity each and every time.

3. Miscommunication. Let’s face it. Sometimes someone says something and we can’t figure out what the hell they meant by that. Is he angry? Without hearing the tone of voice and seeing their body language, it’s so much easier to misconstrue what the other person is trying to say.

4. No take-backs. When fighting, we sometimes get caught up in the moment and say things we don’t mean. When you are fighting in person, those harsh words are sometimes forgotten in the frenzy of all that’s said. But in text fights, you or the other person can go back to the previous messages on the phone and be reminded of all the messed up things you guys said to one another. And you may end up fighting all over again.

5. It’s plain & blunt useless. After a long exchange of harsh words to each other, one usually just ends up calling the other person or going to the person to fight face to face. What happened to working out our issues in person?? Have we really become that impersonal to hide behind our phones in cases of conflict? It’s just too emotionless.

I hate it, and yet I still do it. Ugh.

When Friendship Ends.

People come and go in our lives. Some leave a lasting imprint on our hearts while others leave a bitter taste in our mouth. In my 21 years of existence, I must have acquainted with more than a thousand of people in my life. I must admit, very few of them stayed. And they are who you call FRIENDS.

Recently, I gave a shout out to my dearest friends who stood by me through my worst (READ) and I am very grateful that I have a wonderful set of people with me. However, I can’t deny the fact that there are certain people who have hurt me in the past, friends who betrayed me, walked away from me, and used me. Anyone who experienced this must know that it was the worst feeling in the world to lose a friend, especially if you gave your trust 100%.

Few days ago, someone cried to me asking me to forgive someone who betrayed me. Now, I am not the type of person who keeps grudges for so long. But a betrayal from someone you consider your best friend is indescribable. I guess what made it more painful at that time is that the friendship was torn apart for the most shameful reason ever. From then on, I became very picky with the people I trust. That’s why even though I have lots of good friends, I usually keep most of my problems to myself. Until now I find it hard to forgive that person, but I know time heals all wounds. A simple sorry from him can be a start though.

Then there’s another one who promised to not let go of me, but he did. I guess the reason for the fall-out is that the words thrown upon me were too painful to take. How would you feel when you care for someone so deeply and the person did nothing but literally take you for granted? I knew I had to walk away because I have to keep what’s left of my self-respect. I guess I just pressed the exhausted button. I still feel sad until now, but what can I do? As they say: People change and so do feelings. Accept that.

It’s never easy to heal a wound triggered by a friend. But it’s part of life and we all go through it. What is important is we take time to nurture those who never left us, find ways to mend broken friendships, and find acceptance for the those who chose to leave us forever.

Attracting lovers who cause you pain? These words are for you!

If, for some strange reason, you have or still keep attracting lovers who only end up causing you pain, today’s words are for you.

Each person in your life is sent there for your benefit and to teach you a lesson. The lesson could be how to trust yourself. The lesson could be that you are loved. The lesson could be to heal a wound from your past, or perhaps the lesson could be forgiveness.

Now, think about this. If someone is sent into your life to teach you forgiveness, how else could you learn the lesson of forgiveness than by being betrayed or let down by someone you care for deeply? Or, if the lesson is to teach you how to trust yourself, then how else could you learn except by getting into a relationship where you KNEW from the beginning that is wasn’t good for you, but you proceeded anyway.

Some lessons come bearing pain; others come bearing great pleasure and reward. YOUR task is to see the people who are coming in and out of your life from a larger perspective and ask yourself what you are learning from each person.

YOU have consciously or unconsciously chosen who the people are that are in your life. As a result, you are either consciously or unconsciously signing up for a lesson from each person you allow into your life experience. If you keep choosing people to fill your life experience that you know deep down aren’t healthy for you, but that being with them is better than being alone, then you are signing up for a painful lesson, AGAIN, about how to trust yourself.

You will keep attracting people into your life who leave that painful aftertaste until you start to trust yourself. Then, slowly but surely, your life will begin to change.

When you trust yourself and demand more of The Uni-verse, your attraction point changes and the people in your life change as a result.

If you want to attract that loving person, then ask more from the Uni-verse. Embrace being alone. Accept that it will happen in perfect time, but not necessarily on YOUR schedule. Forgive past lovers, for they have only come bearing the gift of a lesson. When you forgive, you create more room in your life for BIG LOVE.

Feel the pain, but then step back and see the lesson. Next time, learn from the past and make a new choice.

You are the creator of your life with the choices you make. Do you want to keep making the same mistake, or are you ready to graduate and experience BIG LOVE in your life? The choice is yours – make it consciously, and make it TODAY!

Dido: Grafton street Lyrics

No more trips to Grafton Street,
No more goin’ there,
To see you lying still,
While we all come and go.

No more watching sunsets,
It seems like summer’s holding on.
And no more standing quietly at your window.

No more driving down your road,
Wond’ring when you’ll be home.
And no more peace when they all leave
And leave us two alone.

And time we always lose is finally found here with you.
My love, I know we’re losing but I will stand here by you.

No more calling friends from the car saying “I don’t know when,
I’ll be there but I’ll do my best to come.”
No more letting you warm my hands,
No more trying to take it in.
And no more saying “goodbye for the last time again”
And no more saying “goodbye for the last time again”

And time we always lose is finally found here with you.
My love, I know you’re leaving but I will stand here by you.

No more trips to Grafton Street,
No more goin’ there,
No more sitting up all night,
Waiting for any word.

Nothing’s left that’s safe here now,
Nothing will bring you home
Nothing can bring us the peace
We had in Grafton Street.